Sad. 28.09.10

My dream world again.. Its an outdoor party, has a cave to the right, and a long gravel hill where you have to drive to get in. When you get to the entrance there is a hill to the left that goes uphill with seats, and then another one with buildings and fields and a big mushroom field and lake downwards. I go there today and see Shynon with a Scottish hippy girl I met the other day (Lauren), sitting there together holding each others hands on a bunk. I try not to notice them, but we're suddenly in my house. I can tell that Shynon is comfortable here and doesn't want to leave but hes rubbing it in my face that hes not with me, hes with another person. I start to feel unwanted and leave. I go to the hill side where I find four really stoned people, Simeon, Wookie, and two other faces I can't seem to remember.. I talk to them for a bit, tell them they all look the same, and then leave and go back to the normal bit of the hill. I see Jack Brookes. I ask him what hes doing here at this outdoor party and give him a massive hug, he says he has been a bit down for the past few days and I start sobbing into him saying "Me too".. He vanishes and then I later see him in my bed with a packet of pills next to him, I ask him what hes doing and he says hes 'just resting' but I'm worried that hes taken the pills and tried to top himself. I can't remember what I do next but I'm lying in bed with him, he asks me not to leave and that he just wants someone to lie next to him. Soon again I'm back in the other room with Shynon and Lauren sitting on top of a bunk, talking, and I am behind them eating a muesli bar and putting the two bags of granulated coffee behind a stool. Someone comes and picks me up in a car and drives me around to the other side of the hill where we see Rugby Players all lined up ready for a game, thousands of them. I don't know what to think or whats happening. I go back and see kids from my school in this random building to the right, and then I leave and return.. Very muddled, mixed up dream with lots of places and weird feelings, I felt unwanted and upset.

15.09.10

First thing I remember was being in my house (which was actually the Acklands), and then going to a party, to see some people. I went and saw Cam and some random people but then got in a car with Johnny on the way back and two other people, and remembered telling him to drive carefully, he says to me "You always tell me this Scarlett, you know I will", but he is speeding around the hills really fast, although I trust him, then he randomly crashes into a bridge and we go flying into the water, we don't drown we just get out of the car, I do the windows up and I push the car back to the surface.. next I am back in my own house, and I find a rave tent next to it, with smashed bricks; it looks unsafe. Our house is fucked so I can't go in it, so I go next door and find out that we have permission to use their house because the family are not there or something. I'm with a friend of mine, and my little brother, and we go into this house. Secretly I just want to go and roam it by myself and look through everything they own, but I don't. Its a two story house, so I go up to the mother and fathers room; they are rich. I look into her drawer and there are batteries, then in the next drawer it is just full of incense and incense holders, I really want to take it all but I don't, I leave it there and go back to my house. The bed is all messy now so I make it as good as I can but it doesn't look how it was before I went in there; I am anxious that they will realize I was looking through their personal belongings.

Next thing I am in a cafe with Jono, he only wants to stay for a wee while though he has to leave; we sit down and have a two minute conversation and he says he has to go to this other cafe/shopping center to sit there and think, I ask if I can come with him and he says that he likes to go by himself, I say "Oh okay, I understand", and then he goes but he comes back and pops his head through the door, I get up and say to him "you change every time I see you", he looks slightly distorted and I can't really make out if it is him or not but I know it is. We sit down again and drink a coffee at this cafe looking out a window. My parents are there too walking around but I don't feel uncomfortable with them there. Soon he leaves and then I'm back at the house. The Acklands are saying "The family is coming back, we can't afford to live in here" and in the mean time we have to go find somewhere to stay. I am trying to find a house but I can't, because my house is now full of girls and babies that need somewhere to live so I am just walking around the streets; it is dark..

From there on I can't remember what happens.