Chaos. 19.11.10.

I can't really remember the start.. I think I was at some party and was driving a car around a river, but couldn't really drive it properly. I wanted everybody to leave this party or something, it was at a massive two story house... All I remember next is everybody knowing that a man was coming into the house with a gun and me running around crying, all my family members could see me, even my extended family (aunts and uncles and cousins etc) were watching me, and I felt really embarrassed.

I found Megan and Martin and I found a gun sitting on the kitchen bench and took this to our hiding place, I went to various different places to try and find a good hiding spot but couldn't find anywhere, I saw a boy from my intermediate class swiftly hiding behind the kitchen sink all by himself, I knew that he was going to be safe. I went behind a door where there were 3 people sitting, and thought that I would get caught there. I went to the bathroom and there were 4 showers with shower curtains and people hiding in all of them, Martin, Mags, Shynon and this girl that liked Shynon were all in one, so I decided to get in there with them. Shynon showed me a new book he had, it was a notebook, half of it filled with old paper, half with new. I wrote something in there, I can't remember what. He was wearing a woolen jumper and I held on to it and hugged him, we were all scared for our lives.

We waited a bit and then heard footsteps, we pulled the shower curtain over us and I was lying next to Shynon, just holding his arm, and put his book under my body thinking that if I was going to die I would die with something of his in my hands. There was a man with a gun and he came into the bathroom, walked up and down and went to the 4th shower, seeing all the other people and just leaving again.. some of the showers were turned on, he knew that there were people in the house but he left.. Martin got up and started talking but I knew the man would come back again, so I said 'lie the fuck back down, trust me' and he did so.. still talking though.

The man came back and saw us, opened up the shower curtain and somehow I was at the back of all the people. He pulled out a gun and asked me to make him eggs for some reason, he was pointing it at my head, I thought I was going to die but somehow knew I wasn't going to either. He made me sing a song with him which I can not remember but Shynon was looking at me scared for my life, while I was nervously singing along with him. He laughed at me still pointing the gun to my head, and then left..

We all lay there a bit longer, and then a massive flying fox appeared in front of us that went down to the front section/garden of the house and so I jumped on it and went down, Shynon came next and then Martin, but Mags was still up there.

The police came and shot the man, next to Mags. She was scared so I went back up the flying fox and got her to come down with me, hugging and kissing her head saying "I'm glad you're okay...", she was holding a colored picture of circles in her hand.

She came back down with me and I got in some fancy car, someone else was driving it and it was going to go backwards off a cliff, so I put it in Park and some rich girl screamed at me saying "thats my car!", I was just trying to help though.

Suddenly the house went on fire, I think the cops lit it on fire. The whole top story exploding.. I went out and got in someone else's car and drove it to the river by myself, or maybe with someone else... Then waking up in my bed and thinking what the fuck did I just dream?

Scary, fearful, exciting dream though. Very odd.

Sad. 28.09.10

My dream world again.. Its an outdoor party, has a cave to the right, and a long gravel hill where you have to drive to get in. When you get to the entrance there is a hill to the left that goes uphill with seats, and then another one with buildings and fields and a big mushroom field and lake downwards. I go there today and see Shynon with a Scottish hippy girl I met the other day (Lauren), sitting there together holding each others hands on a bunk. I try not to notice them, but we're suddenly in my house. I can tell that Shynon is comfortable here and doesn't want to leave but hes rubbing it in my face that hes not with me, hes with another person. I start to feel unwanted and leave. I go to the hill side where I find four really stoned people, Simeon, Wookie, and two other faces I can't seem to remember.. I talk to them for a bit, tell them they all look the same, and then leave and go back to the normal bit of the hill. I see Jack Brookes. I ask him what hes doing here at this outdoor party and give him a massive hug, he says he has been a bit down for the past few days and I start sobbing into him saying "Me too".. He vanishes and then I later see him in my bed with a packet of pills next to him, I ask him what hes doing and he says hes 'just resting' but I'm worried that hes taken the pills and tried to top himself. I can't remember what I do next but I'm lying in bed with him, he asks me not to leave and that he just wants someone to lie next to him. Soon again I'm back in the other room with Shynon and Lauren sitting on top of a bunk, talking, and I am behind them eating a muesli bar and putting the two bags of granulated coffee behind a stool. Someone comes and picks me up in a car and drives me around to the other side of the hill where we see Rugby Players all lined up ready for a game, thousands of them. I don't know what to think or whats happening. I go back and see kids from my school in this random building to the right, and then I leave and return.. Very muddled, mixed up dream with lots of places and weird feelings, I felt unwanted and upset.

15.09.10

First thing I remember was being in my house (which was actually the Acklands), and then going to a party, to see some people. I went and saw Cam and some random people but then got in a car with Johnny on the way back and two other people, and remembered telling him to drive carefully, he says to me "You always tell me this Scarlett, you know I will", but he is speeding around the hills really fast, although I trust him, then he randomly crashes into a bridge and we go flying into the water, we don't drown we just get out of the car, I do the windows up and I push the car back to the surface.. next I am back in my own house, and I find a rave tent next to it, with smashed bricks; it looks unsafe. Our house is fucked so I can't go in it, so I go next door and find out that we have permission to use their house because the family are not there or something. I'm with a friend of mine, and my little brother, and we go into this house. Secretly I just want to go and roam it by myself and look through everything they own, but I don't. Its a two story house, so I go up to the mother and fathers room; they are rich. I look into her drawer and there are batteries, then in the next drawer it is just full of incense and incense holders, I really want to take it all but I don't, I leave it there and go back to my house. The bed is all messy now so I make it as good as I can but it doesn't look how it was before I went in there; I am anxious that they will realize I was looking through their personal belongings.

Next thing I am in a cafe with Jono, he only wants to stay for a wee while though he has to leave; we sit down and have a two minute conversation and he says he has to go to this other cafe/shopping center to sit there and think, I ask if I can come with him and he says that he likes to go by himself, I say "Oh okay, I understand", and then he goes but he comes back and pops his head through the door, I get up and say to him "you change every time I see you", he looks slightly distorted and I can't really make out if it is him or not but I know it is. We sit down again and drink a coffee at this cafe looking out a window. My parents are there too walking around but I don't feel uncomfortable with them there. Soon he leaves and then I'm back at the house. The Acklands are saying "The family is coming back, we can't afford to live in here" and in the mean time we have to go find somewhere to stay. I am trying to find a house but I can't, because my house is now full of girls and babies that need somewhere to live so I am just walking around the streets; it is dark..

From there on I can't remember what happens.

18.08.10

Last nights dreams felt odd, but true.. so true.

I was back with Shynon, or I was friends with him again, and he came to stay at my house. My mother had moved our bedrooms around, so I was in her old (bigger) room. We had a freezer in the other room with blocks of chocolate and ice creams and stuff, but they were expensive, so I just stole a block of chocolate for us. Another dude came over, his name was Dan, he sat down with me under my open wardrobe and we chatted amongst ourselves, I'd been wondering where Shynon had gotten off to, seeing as his bag was still in my room I knew he couldn't of gone very far.

I heard a twitching under my bed and saw he was there, surprised he popped out and was just emotionless. I cuddled up to him on my bed under my blankets, and he called me his best friend.

Next scene in the dream was with Monique, we drove all the way out of Chch to her house which was three hours away, in the matter of minutes. We were going so fast and I could of sworn we were going to drive right off the edge of the roads and die, but she knew she was in control. We got to her house, which turned out to be a PYSK-WARD party, but in a big batch/beach thing, partying outside and throughout, I saw Hank and Hugo, Hugo had bleached blonde hair and so did Hank, Hugo said to me 'Hey girl' and Hank smiled at me and then they left. Shynon was there, somewhere, he was sitting up the top of the deck. I went inside with Monique and discovered that you could look out the window and you could see Dunedin over the other side of the land. I was so excited and happy, I asked Monique if we could go. She said it would take about 30 minutes if she went 160k but I asked her not to because her driving scared me.

I saw Megan, Kane, and these two other Maori girls get in Megan's car, I didn't know what they were doing or why they were with us in the car but oh well. I ran back out because I had forgotten something.. went to the freezer and got out a big container of ice cream, and decided to bring it with me. As I was walking out I asked Shynon if he wanted to come, he said no that he would be fine where he was and he'd see me when I got back. I wasn't too bothered by this, so I got back in the right hand side of the car at the back.

Megan started driving, and I felt uncomfortable, asking if she was all good to drive; she exclaimed to me that yes indeed she could drive easily, but somehow just down the road the drivers changed over, and Kane was driving. This freaked me out a little bit more knowing that we were soon going to be going 100k. Kane said 'I don't really know how to do this, it kind of scares me when I have to go fast around the corners at 100k', so immediately I asked Megan if she actually wanted him to drive and asked if I could take over, but no she said he was fine to drive. I sat back for maybe two minutes and then Kane proceeded to not even turn at a turn but crash right through this road sign and up on to a foresty hill and in to a two story house. It seemed like time stopped for a few seconds, and enough time for me to get out of the car before it went into the house, and to tell everyone else to too. We all got out before the car crashed and I gave Megan a look like 'I told you not to let him drive if he felt uncomfortable!', and she knew she was somewhat not right in her decision making with it all..

We all didn't know what to do, so I called the police, said I was in 'Ashglacier, which is just out of Springs Junction and nearly in Dunedin, number 37' but I don't think they knew where that was because neither did I. The guy in the house didn't seem to come out, so I kept knocking on his window but he was just sitting on his couch not bothered by the situation. After finally knocking and screaming and no response, we decided to leave, and Addi popped up and said he bought his spare car with him, we were happy but we didn't want to drive after seeing what had just happened, so we decided to leg it up the brown and green/forest hill, with the just to the right of us, we had to keep walking up a trail that turned off left and went uphill, but I had real difficulty doing so, I swung back off the hill but got my posture up, and then it happened again, this time I nearly had nothing to grab on to, but I grabbed onto a thin branch which saved me, and up I went. I threw my bag up into the forest because I thought it was holding me down and making me nearly fall off and lose my balance, and tried to continue walking upwards. I got to the top, where everybody else was, and started to chat to them and kind of ease up about what happened, the dude from the house came up to the top of the hill, he looked like a chilled out stoner and was wearing a bandanna or something on his head, he said that its all good and as long as we're safe its fine. He said something about being married to Tegan (from Tegan and Sara) or WAS at some point with Tegan, and I was quite impressed, I was facing him as he was walking up, and he poked me in the ribs being friendly, then kept walking up..

I somewhat expected Shynon to be up the top of the hill, waiting for me to give me a big hug, but he wasn't, and this made me sad.

And I think at this point I woke up.

04.08.10

The first thing I remember last night is Shynon, I was back with him and everything was okay, I hadn't kissed him yet but we were walking around with our arms around each other. I remember this being one of the best feelings in the world, and I was so overwhelmed that I had him back in my arms.. we were in timezone in town or something.. We went to a party, and then went to a cabin, Ngaio was there and then Shynon went away. I went off somewhere and did something, then when I came back I found out Stevie was in the room at the back, so I went in there to go and talk to him. Shynon and Ngaio were lying together on a bunk down the bottom, and I started talking to Stevie, saying how'd he'd been rude about me behind my back and how he hasn't seen me in months, he said I was looking at him angrily. I asked who else was in the room and Ngaio said 'Shine and I'. I felt sad and angry and dissappointed but I didn't say anything I just lay there with Stevie, and after doing that I left the room and then entered back in the room with no top on for some reason. I think Stevie saw my boobs from my cellphone light and when I got back on the bunk with him he tried to touch them, I told him to fuck off and that I was sick of guys trying to hit on me etc. Shynon then got up on the bunk with his with only a tee shirt and underwear on, and I saw Ngaio zipping her pants back on the bottom bunk. Shynon then proceeded to showing us a random tounge thing he could do with cello tape and it was very interesting to watch at the time..

Next scene I remember was at Sammys, in Dunedin, I was dancing and a man called Jordan asked me to come up next to him, as he was speaking through a microphone, as I did so I knocked over all the microphone/electronic things and all the power in the room went off, but alas, that was okay and so I went up next to him and spoke to him in the microphone with him.. after doing that I heard that Hugo, Wookie and Mason were in Dunedin so I went down the road to try and find them, I saw them and they didn't really talk to me, Wookie had candy and Hugo was really horrible to me, he pushed me over on the concrete and I started crying to myself, while Wookie stood over me and kind of watched me, "I've had enough!" I was saying to myself.. I then ended up on Salisbury st at Tree and Matt's old house, and it was all being renovated. They had cleaned up everything and there was a room with a lot of old mental people sitting in it, I went in there and a lady started talking to me telling me everything was okay because I was upset. I then left there and went back to Sammy's to help talk with this Jordan dude through the microphone, I asked him what kind of pasta he liked..

And then I think I woke up. It was a very full on dream. A lot more definitely happened, I just can't remember it too well..

30.05.10

Last nights dream was really weird, or I think I might have had it this morning even..

I can only remember a small segment of it.. First I remember Jasper had to go to court because he'd shot someone, he had to take the gun in with him at 3pm and it was 3.10pm and he was still at home, I kept telling him to go to court otherwise he'd be late but he was taking his time. I had such a weird feeling about my little brother holding a gun and shooting someone at the age of 12, it was a very sad feeling. Along the lines of Jasper going to court for shooting someone there was also another male in my dream who was doing the same thing but I can not remember.

So Jasper walks out the drive way and I follow him, making sure hes going and suddenly see Jaz, Hank and Hugo in my drive way. Hugo slaps Hank really hard and she starts bleeding, I'm saying 'Hey guys! stop!' and suddenly Hank grabs Hugo and pulls him up in the air and spins him around and round, Hugo and Hank are angry at each other but both hysterically laughing at the same time stumbling around like idiots. I ask if Hugo is drunk and he gives me a smile and says yes. Jazz just stands behind them the whole time smiling at me.

They come inside with me and my thoughts trail off from dream world from there.. I can not remember any more.

28.05.10

Last night I had so so so many dreams, and I seem to be able to remember a lot of them..

First all I remember was being in a big field with a lot of people, I ended up with Woodsy in Conrad's house and he suddenly left for a few hours, when he arrived back he was with Jaz and Ella (Jaz's kid), and Woodsy fucked off to another bedroom, Conrad went and talked to his mum or something. So Jaz and I lay in the bed and she started to cuddle me, then we started hooking up and etc etc, for some reason I just lay there not knowing what to do, but then got in to it and started hooking up ferociously back with her, we kept getting scared that people would walk in and then when we finished our sexual time we just laughed and told everyone and were friends again..

I suddenly appeared in Nelson, and my first thought was to go and see Ging. I txted her and asked if I could come over and she said yes come over and eat something with me. So I went to her new house in Nelson and talked to her parents, they said she was outside so I walked out and she was out side sitting on a picnic table, I ran up and hugged her and talked to her for a while but then I had to go for some reason. I went back to this field and saw my mum, she said she'd found a replacement wedding ring for herself and that everything was okay now.

Thats all I can seem to remember at this point of time...

24.05.10

I was somewhere on the corner of the Gardens and Old West Coast Road, inside this hall with Matt and Tree, Matt and I wanted to go to sleep and I was hugging him but he didn't want me to he just wanted to sleep. On the corner of that thing was a massive mushroom field, very intrepid and such, I had been there before in one of my dreams.. I asked Mason and an old dude if they knew this place, 'Of course we do! Pshh'.

So I left that place somehow and ended up in Pak n Save working for them, but I didn't know what I was supposed to be doing, I jumped on a massive rope swing and slid all through Pak n Save, not worrying that my boss would fire me or anything, just kept going and going. Then I got scared that he would catch me on camera so I stopped doing that and started working for him, asking some girl what I could do at my job. She told me I could pack the shelves and gave me yoghurt's, and milk and freezer stuff to go and pack at the shelves. I did this and he was happy with me.

Suddenly Andrei appeared out of nowhere, or maybe Simo? And they helped me clean some glass but forgetting that my 50 bag was sitting there they got it all wet.. I had given it to Simo by then, and he was thankful but disappointed that it had gotten all wet and such.. So we left Pak n Save and suddenly I was in a car, busking. Tree gave me $10 and Matt gave me $20 I said I couldn't take it but then just held it in my hand for a few minutes, and then returned it back to them saying I couldn't take it because it was too much money and I felt bad..

Thats all I remember.

16.04.10

My dream was very, very vivid last night. I remember a lot about it in perfect form.

First thing I remember was someone walking outside my house to go to the dairy across the road from me, I chased after them and remember the dairy owner crying and crying through the window, I could see him and wanted to help him, but I didn't go in, I just kept talking to my friend and walking down Wainoni Road to pak n save..

Suddenly I was going to some sort of school camp.. The school camp was in the most beautiful place outside, I remember it being one of my favourite places in New Zealand, it had luscious green grass and a big stream, and it was a big section of land.. and I ended up getting there later than everyone else, all my friends were there that were supposedly from my school. Liam, Megan, Olivia, Monique, Simo, Seagull, Rushton etc.. thats all I remember for now. The inside of the school camp was scary, it was a huge old antique building and nurses lived there, kind of like a hospital or something. There was a naked nurse who was getting changed in one of the windows, and I tried to look away so I couldn't see her but she saw me and yelled at me, telling me I couldn't go up any stairs to find my friends, (I was running around trying to find my friends) and that I could only go down not up. So I went down and found Olivia, Mags, Liam, Jackson and a few more people in one room, and there were no more beds, so I had to have my own bedroom and no one else wanted to stay with me in this bedroom. This bedroom was scary as fuck and I wanted to leave this place.. I went into another bedroom and found my brother, Jasper, went to talk to him and he was comfortable, had a nice big bed and everything from his room in this one room by himself. I asked him where his friends were and he said he was tired and just wanted to sleep.. So I left this room and kept trying to get out. Mags and Olivia were behind me and I was with Monique walking around this camp site lake thing.. they were talking about going off to listen to some music and have a spliff, I felt angry for some reason, I was pissed off and started wanting to leave this place and just go home, I couldn't be bothered with having to put up with these people from my school and sleep in an old abandoned room by myself, I thought the place was haunted or something. Suddenly I saw my Auntie's partner, Simon appear and a mini me of him came through the door as well, I asked them if they were driving back to Chch at any stage and he said yes, but then left without me. This fucked me off so much that I just wanted to go.. Monique and I decided we should leave.. and another person was with us also. We went to another camp site, at the Waimak gorge, we went all the way there and had to drive her car through a few rivers and downhill rocky paths to find where we were going. This campsite was just grass and tents.. We got there and Monique went somewhere else, I saw a few people I knew but they weren't from my school.. I heard that Rushton and Emsy were there so I went for a walk through the campsite to find them, the campsite had a lot of stalls, a lot of food and lolly stalls, I remember looking over at the lolly shop and a lot of my friends from Unlimited were there buying lollies.. I thought 'you fucking stoners' and then just kept walking.. I found Simo, Rushton, Seagull and Emsy, they were in a massive tent, and Rushton and I decided to go for a drive in his car. I discussed with him how it was different when just two people got together and talked about how he should stop being so shy in front of everyone, and how he was cool. We drove somewhere.. and I remember having a shower or something somewhere?

but thats pretty much my dream.. All I can remember for now.